A little update, my camp mate also not staying in so i not that guilty now, so its back to happy times in camp haha. Other developments that i am facing is a possible transfer back to base, I will go man if i have the chance, no longer like the place.
Went out with james and his gang of army friends, i smoke one cigarette but i guess i sucked at it, damn i very long never smoke, i didn't know why i did but then I just felt that I had to try and I was already a bit not alert with the drinks, while smoking that one cigarette, i felt very depressed and was quite sad for i dunno whatever reason, I just coughed up whatever i inhaled, I used to be better last time.
With them, although it felt meaningless, we enjoyed our time down there. We just talk our time away, pouring out whatever things we could say inside the army, haha i waited till 2 a.m. before i sang my first song, shin- yi liao bai liao, i sucked and it was the main hall with many people but well er i didn't care. Talked with our company clerk for quite long, i felt a bit sad for him, want go shatech be chef but no money to study, life is just unfair for some people, although i felt he wasn't mentally stable but i understand it had to do with the background he grew up in, he gave me the very gangster gan jue but so did james, and i still been able to mix with them, not that they are influencing me but because I feel they aren't bad charcater bah just mixed with the wrong crowd when they were young. I feel they are more gullible than what i am now.
Memorable moments: Watching an Encik play pool with my friends, my friends getting to know the waitress, i almost puke with a stomach full of delicious chicken wings heng ar! never.
on to some other stuff, I had gone church last weekend, attended my uncle's service, he is the pastor of a small church in geylang, with lots of korean members, er ya. some quite cute koreans girls there too but no not interested. Anyway talked with him about christian faith, god's plan for all of us and science with religion, ok, the following might be a little controversial but please dont rape my tagboard =X
At start he ask me to take a prayer to recognise god as my lord and saviour, i refuse to take as i said i wasn't ready to accept. I quoted some stuff from my mother's church like how religion and science couldn't go hand in hand, like how darwin theory is bullshit as God creates man etc, i am middle on darwin, i feel the odds of us evoluting to this stage is like..... certainly less than 1% so if we did, i must thank it all to the first intelligible tribe of monkeys.
Second, as i am into particle physics and relativity theory, I just dont see how I would fit into the church if i were to believe in god's plan for all of us, what if one day a human were to manipulate the fabrics of time that we called fate. Wouldn't he straight be condemn and cast to death for interference with god's plan? now that itself is very subjective, and maybe due to someone's perception and actions this course of acitons may never happen.
Somehow my memories dont serve me well, and i am unable to continue saying but on the whole i felt something spiritual when i was there and i think it was no coincidence that i met Christopher's mum after coming back from church.
She told me her experience with God and how one of his man a nigerian pastor healed her backbone problems with a touched of his hand and many other miracles he peformed in the indoor stadium, dont think she was bluffing me as she had no reason to, but on the whole if i were to accept the lord as my saviour, will I be able to follow his guidance or end up as an antichrist in the house of the lord.
Actually i have no plans for the after life as i already sort of given up living this life. My fear is not death but the emptiness in life, but the irony is if i were to live my life meaningfully i would fear death then, taking it all away. Oh ya, speaking of which I saw an ad put up by an elderly home one bus stop away from far east plaza 190 route, talking about death its quite interesting, do read it, it talks about how every1 had one thing in common and that is no one can escape from passing away, how we seek closure before we passed on and no matter how important was wealth power or fame to us, our family and our loved ones are the ones that matter to us most before death. Find it quite meaningful but i forgot the whole contents, if u do come by it just read it.
Its been quite a meaningful week, to those that haven't condemn me and still believes in me i thank you, for all the support and encouragement, for all who did sorry u saw that side of me, but i saw that side of u too.
Cheng yi, Chuen Ming(face covered) -.-, a very cute teng yong and the adorable jane
