i tend to screw up everything

is it coz my brain functions in so many different views at a time or is it just that i cant focus. I dont know, i found that i suck at keeping conversations and i dunno why... pls chansey haha enlighten me on my fubarness.

its a critical fault that i think so much and forget even more... where did my memory went, it wasn't that bad last time =( i'm getting old.

being sunk into mediocre doesn't help either, hehz... going to feel depress.

having an inferiority complex and becoming anti social.

the lack of dependence has created a distain for dependence. The deep seeded hate for whatever major bad things that happen in my life is poisoning my conciousness. The only good thing that i find about me is that withdrawing into such a state has put me in such a suspended animation and i just dont care about social acceptance, radicalising my thoughts and giving me once again a crystal view of social structures in various states.

have i confused recognition with love? recollecting back on my previous entry i think love is a mixture of emotions and actions, different to every individual interpretion. oh well, have i nowhere to go in live and end up lifeless on the internet.. what is my reason of living? am i searching for it or have i abandon it and gone fleeting in the clouds.

am i a psychopath? i am i think...