No mood

Germany lost, my dad is in hospital and i cant wait for my long weekend... i really dun feel like dragging myself to work. Took half day off today, didn't want to see any1 or talk with any1 at work. i think its like they wished i wasn't there so that they have less problem with NSFs and i wished i wasn't there to kill time. hehz. Thats whats happen when u try to mix professionalism with mandatory force labour >_>

besides that, lolz been smsing yijia this morning, dunno why but i feel that when two eccentrics communicate, they elevate to a higher level of thinking =.=~ :P maybe its a different dimension altogether.

speaking of which, i been reading up on spanish inquisition, photon mass, relativity and quantum particles. i can only say that power corrupts even the holy, photons are weightless, relativity is a paradox and quantum particles are quantum particles la. omg i feel like i am in kindergarden.

someone recently asked me why people go commit suicide, i really wanted to answer her that its becoz they are driven by circumstances and that surviving is just a form of torture. But i held back and said it was on impulse.

perception to a society thats define by humans means fitting in to a certain extend. Those who cant fit in or those who perceive himself or herself to have failed in achieving raison detre tend to commit suicide. As humans grew powerful, power itself define us. the basic satisfaction of survival isn't enough for our keen and adapted senses. to survive means to gain power, to work for a goal, if u are deprived of this rights, the sense of the word survival doesn't hold any meaning anymore to u. thus that...

another common way of evading suiciding is to reject society, to go back onto animalism and survive for the sake of surviving. Preception of everything changes and usually one can never revert back to recognising society as it is before, but over time one can regain the rights to gain power, one might consider conforming again to it.

So be happy with what u have, u are definitely biting into one of societies greatest pitfalls if u persue too much.. but then again whats there to lose when u are already surviving in this world.