the last and final straw

I thought at work as long as u dun draw lines, u do what u were told no asshole is going to draw lines for u. But apparently i was wrong, some people just want to take advantage of others, and they will talk their way into it, try their luck to push more workload to your side, heh for once i felt hurt after helping them for so many months on admin, their supervisor come to tell me that his side shouldn't be having one and i should be the one doing? wow i just shoot it back at him. If he ever bring it up again i going to call up his manager and ask him whether they need an admin. He played his cards wrong this time, should have waited for me to left before he tried anything funny. I know how they play the game and they should know by now I can nv tolerate it. Neither could my previous boss could.

For your info, my previous boss relations with them was corked up. They wouldn't get things done and my boss just cut their pay due to non contractual fulfillments. It was like a warzone and I didn't want to be caught in between. I was like supporting both sides as best I could, the workshop has to run and though i saw a lot of unruly behaviours i just act blur and did my job.
Things got better when my boss change, they didn't want to get their pay cut so they tried thier best to please him. a lot of lines last time drawn were like non existant. I finally realise that they threw almost all their problems to our side last time, but thanks to my lousy superior he just take them all as he knows i'll be doing it as he was going to ORD. Now he is jobless and nobody wants to take him in coz every1 knows how he works.

Well, i made my statement, since it is this way I shall just do whatever shit has been thrown to me and wait till i ORD. I'm not going to support them, help them or liason with them on anything from now on. I didn't go there to build a reputation, i just serving my nation. So be it if thats the way they treat me, I have plenty of other stuff to do then to bother with them.

If my head was a metalhead

We got a casualty! Today while i was shifting waste wood in camp, the passenger who has cocked eyes slam the door on my head as i was telling the driver to reverse in thru the passenger side door. The door is damn big and heavy lo, the moment it hit me i blank out Like i got stun for 20 secs.... I just covered my face with my hand as the immense pain was too much to bear. Its like putting an egg on the floor and slam it with a flat flying pan, after dumping the stuff i headed back to office to continue work but the moment i started thinking my entire front lobe started to feel numb~ and my right side was like about to explode.... it was so pain i had to bear it all the way to the medical centre.

the lousiest thing is when i went there there were like 20 over pple waiting and I bth waited for 2 hrs fell asleep only to find that i waked up the pain gone le.... zZz with about 10+ pple still there i told the medic i was fine and i headed back. I hope i'll sleep thru the night and wake up tml cause i scared my brain got blood clot zZz.

Weirdest dream

Yesterday i dreamt i was walking town alone, and i was walking around shops, the funny thing about this dream is I can walk from Harbour Front to City Hall then to bugis to discover that i left my shoe at harbour front. And you know what the weirdest thing is that i suddenly hear justin timberlake's sexyback playing while i was bare footed and i danced in a store parquet floor, i can feel the floor somemore wtf! Then after that as i was in jeans and it wasn't so obvious i was barefeet. i walked back to city hall to discover that i had my shoes on all the time. ANYONE Wans to interpret this dream of mine... its worst than having walls of snakes around u -.-


My budget for this month is now not to spend a single cent unless i am hungry. going to june and my june allowance is going in for the paintball 4000 ammos... dunno how long 4k ammos for 20 person will last. Its time i quit the gaming world, I have my project to do and the deadline is my ORD date. Sucess really depend on my character and determination and planning. xD well ciaos~ going out soon to buy my beloved friend her birthday gift. HEY HEY YOU YOU! i dont like your girlfriend.

when there is nothing to be happy about

when sometimes life just takes hold of u, gave u one good shake, u start to realise that everything positive was only inside your head. You have no place to study in after national service, your dad's burden has become yours, what u wish you had just couldn't seem to bother u...

all u could think of is lock urself in your world and throw away the keys, u just couldn't seems to care anymore. You feel destined to be alone, what right do you have to give someone happiness when u urself aint happy at all. You start to think back of the past, all the emotional scars, how u went mad overstress and depressed, how u have endured all this years. You think you are tougher but u are wrong, you were lucky to have your sanity, u are not tough but weak, weak to the point of pathetic, then you feel stronger, i'm not pathetic, i'm the master of my own destiny, then things start to revert back and you start living in your own world again :) Feeding on whatever false hope u create knowing that a future of hopelessness awaits.

thats when i start to hear the words screaming inside my head courtesy of OST of Spiderman 2 "vindicated, i am selfish, i am wrong and i am right i swear i'm right, swear i knew it all along. and i had fought, but i am cleaning up so well, i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself so clear"

-.- i totally regreted buying a new com esp with a 900 budget, the damn graphics card is like on steriods and the fan is like a mouth blowing out air. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THOSE MSI ENGINEERS!~!!! IF THEY MANAGE TO TWEAK SUCH A GOOD GRAPHICS CARD AT LEAST CALCULATE A BETTER FAN TO GO WITH IT.

But ok la i solve the problem, somehow i got a CPU fan that runs on external power supply it is omg dangerous as i left it standing in my CPU box and running at dunno how many thousand revolutions per min. I swear they were built it to teach some kid a lesson not to put fingers into a fan.

Played against AI wow, the strategy game is becoming like NS. Even when they move in a group its section movement, SALUTE to the computer programmers, they really got real military experience. BTW Its COMPANY OF HEROES, AND I KNOW I AM ONE YEAR LATE IN PLAYING IT.

oh ya did i forget to mention the time, its 2 Frigging 30 a.m. and i cant sleep. TML I am going to die in PT. DAMN my weight, if not i can pull 6. ok enough of all the self centred nagging retrospective bitching views.

Sometimes i wonder, how we love another person, is it by choice, stimulation or fate orrrrr fake.
I take my last last sentence back for the next sentence, WHY THE HELL DO I NEED A GIRL TO CONTROL MY LIFE WHEN I HAVEN"T GET A GRIPS OF IT MYSELF. Okay, i put back my last last last last sentence. Is it coz our hormones, we want it they want it kinda thing or romance, hahaha i haven't met any true romantics left on the planets esp. guys. so Then wth is it? Lonely? Need someone that ur same sex best friend can never give? or cause mars and venus are opposites and they somehow attract. This is getting nowhere. Ok i'll share how i like a girl, I'll get to know the girl, there are a few types of ways to like eg. 1 when the girl walks in and u start to stand and sing the national anthem, thats damn embarassing but hey you aint seeking long term wink wink!~ 2. she's the enchantress, everywhere she goes you cant help but noticing the trails of aura that she left behind, you get hooked and you just want to be by her side. 3. she's.... ok, nothing much special but u two click well and though u two are friends... god has forbidden platonic relationships and you start finding her cute and etc and u start to like her.
4.the moment you saw her, you know she is special and is your soulmate. Fate helps you along and sooner or later you just cant deny that you two are star-crossed lovers, and that begins your fairy tale journey. Judging by the above, i can safely conclude that it is because we are different and that all this are actually our animal instinct of attractions to the opposite sex. A person without hormones would be just in his/her right mind agree?

OK BED TIME!